While it might seem a little vain to think you all would be concerned about my breast reconstruction, in reality it's not only a cosmetic issue for me now, it's also a medical one. Several friends have asked for an update, so at 7-8 weeks post surgery I thought this would be a good time.
I'd read about all the possible complications from mastectomy reconstruction and lymph node removal, but honestly thought I'd be immune. I'm healthy! I take all my vitamins, am well-hydrated, live a healthy lifestyle. Along with challenging exercises to regain my range of motion, and constant issues with fatigue, breast cancer has proven to be an ongoing battle to get my health and strength back. I'm eternally grateful that I didn't need chemo or radiation, and realize it could have been so much worse.
I was able to attend the Fresno Dance Classic event Memorial weekend with Rachel, and it was fabulous! I wasn't sure I'd be physically able to dance that soon (6 weeks), but as I eased into it gradually, I found that it was actually good for me and loosened me up. I regained alot of my range of motion there, and also had an amazing time seeing friends and watching comps. As you can imagine, dancing now has a whole new meaning for me...
A few days after Fresno I noticed my right breast (the cancer side) became quite red. There was no pain there, no fever, and it wasn't hot to the touch. I called the doctor and he immediately put me on antibiotics, and said it was okay to wait the 2 days till my scheduled appt to see me; but if it got ANY worse at all (fever or hotness) he'd put me right in the hospital on IV antibiotics and possibly have to remove my expander. THAT would have been bad... one flat breast for 3-6 months of healing before any more expansion/reconstruction could be attempted.
When the doctor saw me on Friday, the redness had decreased a little so he hesitantly let me go, but said to call him if anything worsens. I was so relieved by this... I had packed a hospital bag for this appt just in case. (Hope for the best but prepare for the worst, right?) Being given the go-ahead to keep all my weekend plans instead of having to spend it in the hospital was music to my ears!
I started these antibiotics 5 days ago now, and am officially on "infection watch". I carry a thermometer with me, and am also using homeopathic antibiotics, probiotics & immune builders. As of today, it's still pretty red, but slowly decreasing. I'm praying for the redness to completely disappear. And from what I'm reading, this "infection watch" could last many months or even longer.
As any BC survivor undergoing tissue expander reconstruction knows, these plastic saline-filled balloons inside my chest are NOT fun. They're a foreign body and can be prone to infection, not to mention extremely uncomfortable. It feels like I'm wearing a tight, underwire bra on the inside. If I knew the date of my final implant surgery (hoping for August) I'd be literally counting the days.
OTOH, considering the severity of my surgery, I am doing fantastic right now! The incisions are healing beautifully, and my stamina is slowly improving. Although I tire easily, feels wonderful to start once again doing the normal every day things I used to do, and now it's with a much deeper sense of gratitude than ever before. I've started my regular routine now, of practices, teams, and teaching 3 nights a week plus Sundays; it's challenging trying to keep up, but I'm pacing myself and taking it slow. Job search is still on hold for now. I've stopped sleeping in the recliner finally, my drain sites are healing up, and am on my way back to my old self. Well, sorta.
Actually I don't think I will ever be totally like I was before; when a part of your anatomy changes, it does something profound to your psyche. Almost my entire torso feels different now, and it's a constant reminder of my cancer ordeal. It's also a constant reminder to me that I am incredibly lucky to have my amazing life. As the hours passed this weekend, I was keenly aware of the beauty of the ordinary. Feeling joy doing regular stuff. Wow. Wish I could bottle it & sell it! It's awesome!
Will I eventually get used to the "new me"? They say I will, but right now I'm not too convinced. In the meantime, I continue to fight my way back to health.
To be continued.....
Love,
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